What is "traditional" in a wedding?

There is that word again, "traditional" wedding! It can be a curse or a blessing. Many families and faiths have beautiful traditions in their wedding ceremonies seemingly from the beginning of time. The Jewish faith marries a man and woman under a canopy at the end of ceremony a crystal goblet wrapped in a napkin is crushed by the groom's foot and everyone cries "Mazeltoff"! In an African ceremony, the bride and groom jump over a broom stick to begin the journey of their new life together. In many religious ceremonies, a unity candle is lit signifying the joining of the bride and groom's families to make one new family. Weddings are seeped with literally hundreds of traditions. But isn't it still a wedding if the mother of the bride walks her down the aisle? If the best man is actually a woman ? If the wedding takes place on a beach instead of in a church? If the bride doesn't wear white OR if she does and it's not her first time? Does it really matter who pays for what? Who hosts the bridal shower? IF children are invited to the reception? Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner? Does the grooms family pay for the booze? Do I have to have favors? Is a bouquet and garter toss really necessary?

I think the fact that a couple agrees to become legally married in the eyes of their family and friends is all the tradition that there needs to be. The witnesses of the promises a bride and groom make to one another. The guests presence is their pledge to stand by this couple throughout their marriage. Granted there are numerous couples who have been together for decades without that little piece of paper. It works for them. Who are we to judge? But so many things have changed since the weddings of our great grandparents and couples before them; customs, economics and traditions.

So when a bride asks me about what is traditional in a wedding ceremony, for the rehearsal dinner, or at the wedding reception. I usually say, it is YOUR wedding, personalize it, there is no right or wrong. Usually a couple will make decisions based on their dreams and/or their budget! Either way it is a perfect day with memories to last a lifetime!